Scarlett O'Hara dieting tips

Nick is in the 8th grade this year, so they have asked the parents to continue to fund the school in sneaky, devious tactics buy an ad in the yearbook for a mere $375 to congratulate the little sunshines on "graduating" the 8th grade.  Are they kidding?  I would have been really pissed if he didn't graduate the 8th grade.  In fact, I expect him to graduate everything for quite some time.  I guess when he gets his Doctorate, I will feel really proud.  I promise I will take out an ad then congratulating him. So, not only do you have to cough up the money but also have to come up with some clever little poem or "ode" to your special little person.  Now, Nick has become a teenager overnight insisting that he knows EVERYTHING and I'm just an idiot.  So, the only saying I can come up with is:

Nick, you've become a teenager and now I know why some animals eat their young.

Of course, all the cleverness must be accompanied by cute photos of yesteryear.  In looking through the photo albums for pictures, I had unintentionally recorded an interesting fact about myself.  I have chronologically documented the constant ebb and flow of my weight.  It starts with Nick's birth pictures where I was HUGE and then 3 months later where I was still in the "just had a baby" denial of fatness and still huge.  Then, as you turn the pictures, you can see the weight coming off slowly and then back to normal.  Taylor then comes along and starts the process all over again.  It is actually quite frightening.  I then get to a stage where it stays off then I get really skinny which was about the time of my divorce, coinciding with making tons of money, resulting in a whole new wardrobe to make myself feel better.  The only thing that still fits out of that wardrobe are the shoes.  If I were still putting pictures in the album, you would see we are headed up the mountain again.  My friend Lori says the only way to get out of the cycle is to lose the weight for good or make a decision to own your fat.  Love it.  Make it your friend.  I've tried to love my fat.  I've tried to make friends.  It's just that those clothes are so damn cute and I would love to see myself in them again.

So, I'm saying publicly that I'm going to get it off AGAIN.  I say this as I'm eating a cupcake.  Because, you know how it goes.  If I've made the decision to really get serious about losing weight, it gives me a license to eat whatever I want until that day starts.  There are rules for that as well.  See, today is Friday and you can't start a diet on Friday.  You would throw off the entire metaphysical aura of dieting worldwide.  The fact that I didn't start on the first of the month could also be a factor in defeat, but I must take my chances.  You must start on a Monday, which is what I plan to do.  I will record my progress for all to see and hopefully have some accountability.  The ultimate goal is 15 pounds.  Right now, I'm going to make dinner reservations for the next three nights.  Scarlett said it best: After all...tomorrow is another day.