My eyes are watering

The diet started today and did not get off to a roaring success. I blame my husband. In an effort to be nice (and since he doesn't read this blog and didn't know that today was the beginning good-by to 15 pounds), he bought my favorite bagels at Panera Bread, the awesome Asiago Cheese. Well, I couldn't be rude so I ate one. I did, however, just put a couple of squirts of fake, spray butter on it instead of smothering it with real butter like I wanted. After I ate it, I decide to look up on the Internet to see how many calories this baby is packing. Are you ready? A whopping 370 calories and 61 grams of carbohydrates, and 630 mg sodium. YIKES AND OOPS. Holy crap. I had just about a fourth of my daily allotment and it didn't include much protein. I suck at this. There is WAY too much math involved with dieting. Now, the old me would have said better just wait until tomorrow to start again and have a cupcake, but I decided to chalk it up to stupidity and keep going. After all, I knew that big ole cheese bagel probably wasn't on the program before I shoved it in my mouth. So, I had a piece of fruit for mid-morning snack, and I was getting ready to make a salad for lunch.

Then, God delivered the best anti-hunger agent known to man. My dishwasher has been broken since Loaf-A-Palooza, which has been really fun. I read not too long ago that a good way to get the family more time together was to wash the dishes together after meals. Well, we've been doing that for a week now, and it's just not that much fun. We would rather sit on our asses and watch TV, thank you very much. By ourselves.

I've had two people out here to look at the dishwasher through the stupid home warranty company and they both get out here, look at it, write up a report, and then go back to the warranty company and say that they don't service this fancy-boy dishwasher because the parts come from Sweden and they can't get them. CAN'T WE DECIDE THAT WHEN THEY CALL AND I TELL THEM IT IS AN ASKO DISHWASHER IN THE FIRST PLACE? So, a man just came out to look at it again as I had my salad fixings all over the island. I opened the door and the smell of the little guy almost knocked me down. I cannot even describe the odor that this man is emitting in my kitchen. It is so bad, that I have a headache and the stench is seeping into other parts of the house. I think this job is even too big for Febreze. In fact, I'm not sure how to get the B.O. out of the house. On top of that, he is a close-talker so he comes very close when he talks and I have to hold my breath. Almost passed out earlier. There is no way on God's green earth that I will be able to eat. This guy needs to bottle this so I can put it under my nose when I want to eat an Asiago Bagel. He seems really nice. I wonder if he could move in for a couple of months and continue not to shower. I'm pretty sure that he would take me up on the latter since it has obviously been quite some time since he last bathed. An added bonus is that I think he actually fixed my damn dishwasher.

For those of you trying desperately to lose a few pounds, I recommend getting yourselves a little, stinky dishwasher repairman.