I'm no June Cleaver

Most of you who know me well know that I am just the teensy, tiniest bit spoiled.  That's not to say that I don't work really hard and pull my weight, but I generally get what I want.  Like all good children, I blame my mother.  I was the last of 5 girls and it's not that I was babied because I was the cutest, or that I was the favorite, because I wasn't even in the top half of favorites.  She was just done.  Sick and tired of telling children for 20 years to make their bed, eat their vegetables, do their homework, etc.  Who the hell could blame her?  By the time I came along the woman was 41 years old and already had grandchildren.  People would ask my dad if we were Catholic.  "No," he would say, "just passionate Baptists."  As I got older, I found out the real truth.  A train would pass by our house around 5 a.m.  He said it was too early to get up and too late to go back to sleep.  Eeewwww.  Blame the train. So, I was left with lazy parenting.  She was done cooking, so I pretty much lived on Rice-A-Roni, hot dogs, and Twinkies.  In the housekeeping arena she did everything for me so she wouldn't have to deal with me.  I never even made my bed.  When she asked me to dust, I would fake an illness and lie down on the couch until the work was done.  I would never let my own slaves children get away with that.  When I got out on my own, I washed my own clothes for the first time.  My roommate came in one day very red-faced screaming DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO CHANGE THE DRYER VENT??  Um, no, I didn't know there was a dryer vent.  Needless to say, I was a huge slob until I had kids and then kept the house clean AND hired a housekeeper.  Maybe just once or twice a month, nothing crazy.  Then, a couple of years ago, a lady came in my life/house and came 3 days a week.  One full-day and two half days.  She cleaned AND did the laundry and ironing.  Before her, my idea of ironing was throwing a wet washcloth in the dryer with the clothes to try to coax out the wrinkles.  Of course, I did what seems inconceivable now, and bitched about her.  She didn't move the furniture when she mopped, and wasn't the best duster.  I would go behind her and clean up little things, but my house was always clean.  Since I've been unemployed consulting, it didn't make sense to keep her on since I'm home and could do it.  OMG.  It is all I do.  My sister says, if you want a clean house, unless no one is living there, it is a constant job.  She's so right.  I'm spending at least 30 hours a week cleaning, doing the laundry and ironing.  When am I supposed to exercise?  I make the slaves children help, but let's face it, if the housekeeper wasn't cutting the mustard, then the children aren't going to do it right.  Let me tell you right now, it is so much easier to go behind someone and spot clean.  WHY WAS I BITCHING????  Also, there is no good floor cleaner.  If you mop, you are just sloshing the dirty water around, so I bought a Hoover Floor Mate.  This thing sounds like an F-15 is in your house.  The kids have banned me using it while they are trying to do their homework.  It still isn't good.  I want something that steam cleans the floor, sucks up the dirt, and leaves it with a nice, fresh scent.  Oh yeah, that would be a housekeeper.