Monday, February 2, 2009

Deadly Sins at the Gym

I went to the gym this morning to take a spin class.  ALL I wanted was to go back to sleep.  I was having a rather odd dream about Brad Pitt.  Seems he wanted me to help him take care of all his children.  Doesn't that say so much about me?  Can't I just have a sex dream involving Brad Pitt without having to babysit?  Anyway, I dragged out to go kill my quads and pierce my eardrums with all the techno music.  When I leave there, I'm never sure if my ears are ringing because I need to eat something or if the music was just too loud.  OMG I hate getting old.  Since I'm training, I've been spending more time at the gym.  You won't believe what happens in these places. I have listed some of the more interesting things I've seen of late:

  • I don't know if it is appropriate to wear your white sports bra in public.  I have no opinion, I just don't know.  What I do know is that it's not ok to wear a size 32B when clearly you are a 32DD during spin class.  This woman spent the whole class making sure her nips didn't spill out, but they did.  All during class.  Yes, we were ALL watching, which I assume was the point.
  • It is NEVER ok to slough your feet with your pumice stone at the gym in the locker room.  Little bits of your nasty feet flying all over the room.  Ew.  I guess you could use the Pedi Egg so your chunks would be caught in the device, but I still don't think so.  Certain things should be done at home. 
  • Picking at your scabs on your shoulders and back while you are on the treadmill, stair stepper, etc.  Ew.  I just stared at this woman the entire time.  Thankfully, I was far away.  Can you imagine the biohazard she was creating?  Ditto with the feet thing.
  • Chatting with me while you are naked.  Yup, I don't know you and here you are striking up a conversation with me while you are buck naked.  Oh, and it's never the beautiful people who do this.  Note: When you are naked, jump up and down and if anything moves, it's not ok to chat up other people in that state.  I can hear you just as well with your back turned to me.
  • Hogging the mirror.  You are beautiful.  You are looking tight.  Get over yourself and let me see if I'm lifting correctly.  Jeez.
  • Eating in the sauna.  Yes, you heard me correctly.  I think it was a turkey wrap.  Oh, and someone else in the sauna was naked.  So, there I am with naked fat woman, and turkey wrap woman who has no problem slamming down her food while staring at naked fat woman and sweating.  I just threw up in my mouth thinking about it again.

I'm sure you have interesting experiences as well.  I would love to hear them.  For now, I will keep reporting the injustices of the world, one neighborhood gym at a time.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

FYI---we have the Pedi Egg and it works just like a cheese grater--hard to use and not very effective and tears up the product leaving it not very attractive. Enough said...Krys

Suzanne-Michele said...

Another gym sin...leaving a partially used and slimy bar of soap in the shower. Like anyone else is going to actually use it? Ew.

And then there's the random gym-goer who neglects to use a sufficient deodorant and reeks from 2 stations away. Blech.