I'm going to be writing about Halloween over the next couple of weeks, past and present, because it is one of my favorite holidays. It is one of the only ones I can stomach since I got divorced and only because I insist that the kids be here. Unlike Christmas when I spend the entire day crying after they've gone to be with their Dad. I digress.
In the car, because I am a geek, I listen to quite a bit of the Martha Stewart channel because they talk about cooking, decorating, and girly stuff. I can only do this when I'm in the car alone. One day, she has one of her minions making Halloween cupcakes. I love the cupcake. Not so much making it, but it is my favorite of the cakes. I love Halloween and I love the cupcake. I'm on board. How fun to have Halloween cupcakes. I go to the Martha Stewart website to look at the cakes in question and decide of the four Creepcakes, I'm going to make the Mummy Cakes. I decide that I'm making the entire thing from scratch because my husband always gives me a hard time about using box anything. The cupcakes turn out great and I just briefly look at the Swiss Meringue Buttercream Frosting recipe and notice that it takes 10 egg whites, sugar and butter. I had the egg whites because I buy them in the big containers because we eat them every day, and have butter and sugar. I finish the cupcakes and start in on the frosting. IT TAKES (ARE YOU READY) 8 STICKS OF BUTTER. THAT'S 2 POUNDS. THAT'S 4 CUPS. THAT'S 6,400 CALORIES. THAT'S 704 GRAMS OF FAT. The recipe says it makes 28 cupcakes, so that is 228 calories per cupcake and 25 grams of fat BEFORE you add in the cake part, and the sugar in the frosting. THAT'S JUST THE BUTTER PART. That means that I'm not having one. The Betty Crocker store-bought kind is half the calories and doesn't leave a layer of lard on the roof of your mouth. I move forward and make the frosting which takes 25-30 minutes. I get out my decorating tips to use with my baggies but they keep breaking. Need to wait until tomorrow to get a proper pastry bag, so I put the lard in the refrigerator which the recipe clearly states is acceptable. Went to the store today and took out the lard out to bring to room temperature where I have to beat it an additional 5 minutes to bring it back to fluffy. Looks like butter to me. Can't imagine how this could get fluffy again after the egg whites have broken down.
But they did. Didn't make it any less gross, though.
So, I started decorating my mummy cakes and this is how they turned out. All 8 of them. Really cute, but sick. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't continue to make my little butter creations. It was a little more like butter sculpting than cupcake making.
I have to go back to the store for the Betty Crocker frosting because this stuff is freaking me out, and I don't want the ruin the rest of the cupcakes. I guess you need to leave them in the fridge because otherwise, they will melt. Ew. Anyone have a good recipe for frosting? Better than Betty Crocker? Seriously, what is Martha thinking? I bet you don't see her popping a stick of butter in her mouth disguised as a cupcake, no matter how cute they are.
2 comments:
OK--I too am making some Creepcakes for 2 parties this year. They are bloodshot eyeball creepcakes. You make a BOX red velvet cake, buy ping pong eyeballs to smush in the store bought mound of icing on top of the cupcake, them add red icing gel squiggles down the white icing to make it look like bloodshot eyeballs--CREEPY huh? And, not so buttery but high risk for a child ingesting a ping pong ball...Krys
You could also use jawbreakers. Doesn't help much with the choking hazard, but would be edible. Seems like it might be cheaper, too. 99 cent store, baby.
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