Guests and Fish (and Ducks)

Ben Franklin said, "Guests, like fish, begin to smell in three days."  This man never had ducks.  About two weeks ago, we had a couple of visitors:

It was always a male and female and they were interesting to watch, and cute.  Who doesn't like ducks?  While I was out of town last week, Robert said they came back and brought a couple of friends.  I like to think that my pool is G-Rated, but I think they may view our backyard oasis as The Grotto at the Playboy Mansion.  So, we kind of enjoyed our visitors and let them party at their leisure until I noticed that they were not picking up after themselves.  Oh, and we aren't charging them anything and never asked for a deposit. 

This is how they repay our generosity:

My pool is cleaned every Tuesday.  The poor pool guy doesn't know what he's in for this week.

Now I don't know what this duck ate for lunch, but he has a serious GI problem.

I'm thinking he should probably schedule himself for a scope because this is just not right.  If anyone has any ideas how to get rid of unwanted Grotto guests, please let me know.  Those ideas should not involve a firearm of any kind, because they are still really cute even if they are disgusting.